Parents

Did you hear that Mom and Dad visited me in Bhutan?? If you’re fortunate enough to live in the greater Richland/Kalamazoo area you must have heard, and more likely than not, you’ve already been shown pictures.

But for anyone who may have fallen through the cracks of my father’s reach, here is a little update from their trip.

I never thought that I would admit this, but my having my parents see and experience my life and my job felt really important. In a strange way, it almost validated what I am doing as real. Having them come to Bhutan, see my village, meet my students, eat lunch with my school’s staff, and hike the mountains that I live in made everything feel different.

I consider myself pretty independent so I’ve been trying to figure out why their validation of my life was suddenly so important. I've done things in the past knowing that they disapprove but I'm never deterred for it. But I've realized that it's not their approval that I wanted (I already had that), just their understanding of what it is I'm doing and what I'm going through. 

My entire life my parents have been pushing me in certain directions, acknowledging when I succeed or fail, encouraging me, and supporting me even if they don't fully agree with my decisions. Since moving to Bhutan last January, there has been a disconnect in their acknowledgement and validation. Of course they are my biggest fans and have supported me in every way possible during the past ten months. But they were only able to do this from afar. They listened to my stories and saw my pictures, but there is an aspect of Bhutan that is only recognizable in person. Stories are only select details and pictures never do life justice. So having Mom and Dad come, see my life, and actually play their role as my mom and dad who observe my life and support both the good and the bad was unexpectedly important for me.

Their trip was a perfect mix of relaxing days in nice hotels and also getting them a little out of their comfort zone by “roughing it” in my house or the tents on the trek. We did both touristy things like visiting the Punakha Dzong and the famous Tiger’s Nest in Paro, along with non-touristy things like visiting my classroom and going for walks in villages that are definitely off the beaten tourist track.

Of course we also went on the Druk Path Trek. We started in the Paro Valley around 2,400 meters and our highest peak was around 4,200 meters, or 13,800 feet. Trekking the Himalayas was a new experience for all of us and also helped to remind me how fortunate I am to have two parents who are healthy and fit enough to do it. Following are a bunch of pictures from our trek because Bhutan is just too beautiful not to show off:

 

My camera is an interesting mix of Bhutan through my lens and my parents. I found dozens of blurry pictures of the side of the road that Mom took as we traveled around Bhutan. She obviously felt the same way about the roads that I did when I first arrived. 

Their visit also encouraged me to take pictures of things that I've become accustomed to but still have no pictures of like chilies drying on rooftops or trees growing out of abandoned and disintegrating houses.

  

One thing that I’ve believed for a while but that has been solidified by my time in Bhutan is the idea that all spiritual beings on Earth recognize the same God but are polarized by language translations and rituals. Being able to share these thoughts with Mom and discuss the incredible similarities between our Christian faith and the Buddhism of Bhutan was another highlight for me. Growing up in a conservative Catholic church I sometimes worry that I’m on the wrong side of the spectrum of our faith. I think I had some religion teachers who focused more on the fear of God than the loving side of him. So being able to agree on some of these ideas with Mom, the person most responsible for my faith, I have to admit was reassuring.

Now that Mom and Dad are gone, I’m left with only three weeks to finish my syllabus, final exams, and the end of the year. The rice is being harvested, the chilies dried, and everyone is starting to wear more layers as the weather turns cold again. I’m worried about all of this finishing up too quickly and not recognizing the time as it goes by. A few weeks ago I made the final decision not to return for a second year. I can only pray that I am fortunate enough later in life to return to Bhutan to visit again.

Lastly – a paragraph I felt compelled to write when I finally looked up from my computer screen after writing this blog:

As I sit on my balcony in my pajamas with a cup of tea and my laptop, I am once again comforted by the smells, the sounds, and the landscape. The sky is blue and the sun has warmed the air. I have been out here two hours and the sun has moved so that it is close to setting over the mountains on my left. The shadows have moved across the fields, the forests, and the hills and continue to change the valley. I can actually smell the chilies and cheese cooking. It is an appetizing smell and I’m disappointed in myself for being too lazy to do anything other than oatmeal for dinner. The grandpa from my house is sitting in his Gho with the cow and it’s newborn calf. More of the rice has been harvested from this morning. Somewhere a fire is crackling, dogs are whining, cows mooing, and the birds are singing. I can hear small students from school playing and rambling in Dzongkha that I don’t understand. Amidst all of this noise it remains the most calm and still place I have ever called home. If I was never reminded of the all the family and friends I have waiting for me back home I might stay here forever.

*fun fact: I almost published this blog with calm being spelled as clam which is funny because this place is nothing like a clam. J

**fun fact #2: This one isn't so 'fun'. When I reread that paragraph I'm reminded that it's impossible for me to understand what someone who has never been to Bhutan imagines when they read my posts or see my pictures. That is one of the most frustrating aspects about living so far from home. But it's also what makes life interesting. If that wasn't the case, the desire to travel and experience other places and cultures in person would be diminished. I read a T.S. Eliot quote this week that really spoke to me: "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time." Traveling to faraway lands for me isn't about running away from home or the things I don't like, but about exploring and experiencing something so totally different from what I know that I'm able to return home and see things through a new lens. One of my goals in life is to acquire many of these lens's to see things as clearly as possible. 

Furthermore - these long ramblings at the end here are a result of staying in my flat all day and trying to write my final exam. Normally these thoughts go in my journal but today I happen to be blogging and just add and add and add.